Playing on the background: I Can't Find the Words to Say Goodbye - Bread

Grabe ang ganda ng umagang bumungad sa kin... i woke up at 9:30 am, nag-breakfast, and while I'm eating, my mom started to talk about my unfinished term paper for Comm 2.. I don't know, but I got so irritated that when it's time to wash the dishes, I couldn't help magdabog..

Then as I was washing few more dishes, my ate told me that someone texted me, well, actually she read it na, that's why when she handed me the phone, she said that, well I can't say his name here so let's just call him "Sir K" because he has been one of my CAT officer, texted me... But when I read the message, it was Sir K's # but his not the one who made the message.. And the message really added to my earlier irritation! Damn! Nakakainis! Ke-aga-aga nangbubwisit! Grr!

Curious on what the message is? Here.. I'll share it with you..

***Ei, ds s meech, cguro lam m n kng knino no.2, i saw ur txt last xmas. i do hv a favor, pls stop calling "Sir K" "GEL" cz hes not ur angel enimor. i dnt wnt 2 tel u dis buti hv 2, kc everytym n my ngttxt x knya n ibang no. lagi kme nagaaway. i hope u understand kc ayoko masira un relationship nmin. Pls txt bak.***

My reply...

+++Ganon b? E di sori.. Gus2 ko lang xang igrit and perhaps nasanay na lang akong twagin xang "gel".. Don't wori, i'm over him.. And nga pla, kung ndi nya pa nababasa ung email ko sa kanya pakibasa na lang.. Thanx..++

After that the girl didn't reply anymore... But what was unexpected was that Sir K texted me at almost 2:30 pm saying he's sorry and that i should not believe what the girl has said.. He also asked me if i was mad at him and he kept saying sorry.. And the worst part is, he called me GEL! Hah! I felt weak and so mad dahil feeling ko ginaga*o nila ko... Pero I can't say I'm mad at him coz... I don't know, maybe because I'm afraid that I might hurt his feelings and syempre I still care... So I texted him saying I wasn't mad but I asked him who the girl is and told him na nakakainis kasi ang aga-aga nangiinis sya ng tao...

Then, no reply...

--Can't say I don't love her Still I can't pretend That my heart is torn just knowing that I'm losing my bestfriend---

Yep.. I keep saying to my friends that I'm over him but I still can't bare the thought that I'm losing him na.. Yun nga lang issue kay Tin I can't believe na, eto pa kaya... But I had my decision and that is t let him go..

--I'd rather her hear the truth Than hurt her with a lie So I tried, But I can't find the words to say goodbye--

I can't let it go on like this forever... I must be honest with him... And I'm hoping that he'll understand.. It's better this way..

--If I told her see you later Then I might be wrong 'cause this voice inside is driving me To find where I belong --

It's time to move on.. New Year, New Life... and I hope he'll do the same..

--Don't know why, I can't find the words to say goodbye....--

But now, I still can't let go of him... the memories... the feelings...

Geez, wala lang... I've just been lying around the whole day... First, we had a chinovela marathon, Meteor Garden, (that's why at this moment I still feel Űber-romantic (and hopeless!)), then i slept, woke up, ate dinner, watched Lovers in Paris (i've been so addicted to chinovelas nowadays, eh?=P) then started answering surveys online (Friendster)... Here.. take a peek on what occupied my night.. hehe..

Got this one from Inez..

1.one word to describe yourself?~> complicated

2. things you always say to someone close toyou:~> ingat.. (?)

3. who's your bestfriend?~> Tin and Ronald

4. nung elementary and highschool, cno angpnkamatgal mong nksama?~> Tin and Ronald

5 . what's your favorite number?~> 3

6. what was the first thing you did after wakingup?~> rub my eyes...

7. last number of your cellphone number?~> 0

8. who was the first person that came to yourmind as you woke up this morning?~> my dad.. he woke me up.. hehe..

9. who was the last person to make you feelkiLig?~> Jerry Yan (haha!)

10. what song is on your mind riGht n0w?~> Masaya by Bamboo

11. what was the last thing you wrote onpaper?~> "To: Princess Ashley Happy 1st Birthday! From: Ruth Esteban"

12. whom do you want to call you on yourcellphone riGht n0w?~> no one.. (my bill is in danger again... haha!)

13. what's your favorite time of day?~> 12 mn - 2 am... pwede kong magmuni muni... hehe

14. do u like the coLor pink?~> yes

15. last song that you sang [as in buo]?~> Huwag na Huwag mong sasabihin

16. do you like to sing?~> Yes!

17 what was the last song that you danced to?~> i dance even without music! haha!

18 favorite song/songs~> It might be you... Masaya...

19. bakit mo sinagutan ang survey na ito?~> wala lang...

20. asan ka ngayon?~> sa bahay, sa room namin..

21. Last person you e-mailed?~> batch namin...

23. have you worn/are you wearing braces~> no...

24. how often do you buy Load?~> naka-plan ako... 800 but last month, it went as high as 2300! grabe!

25. who's the last person in your phonebook?~> >Honey

26. if you were given a chance to visit anothercountry, what would it be?~> Paris (or other European countries)

27. name the person that you want to fall foryou at this exact moment~> that's too impossible... saka wala akong maisip...

___

This one's from Kuya Jay...

HAVE YOU EVER....
1. Kissed: *yep... (but not french kissing... ewww! haha!)

2. Ran away:*maybe...

3. Pictured your crush naked:*yes..*blush* haha!!!!

4. Skipped school:*yes...

5. Broken someone's heart:*yes... i think i'm good at that...XD

6. Been in love:*yes...

7. Cried when someone died:*yes... twice... my cousin and my dear old lolo..

8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: *yes... and it hurts i couldn't have him...

9. Broken a bone:*thank God not yet..

10. Done something embarrassing: *done on purpose? um... ata..

11. Lied:*yes

12. Cried in school:*yes... even at the mall, the mrt... etc... haha!

WHICH IS BETTER...

13. Coke or Pepsi:*pepsi

14. Sprite or 7UP:*sprite

15. Girls or Guys:*GIRLS! haha!

16. Flowers or Candy:*umm.. candy...

17. Scruff or Clean shaved:*clean...

18. Blondes or Brunettes:*brunettes

19. !@#$ or Slutty:*!@#$ what's this?!

20. Tall or Short:*tall (my frustration!)

21. Pants or Shorts:*pants

22. Night or Day:*night

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX..

23. What do you notice first:*the face, particularly his smile and eyes...

24. Last Person You Slow Danced With: *my youngest sister... hehe..

25. Worst Question To Ask: *err... i don't know...

HAVE YOU EVER...

59. Fallen For Your Best Friend?: *nope

60. Made Out With JUST A Friend?: *nope

61. Kissed Two People In The Same Day? *yes.. my mom and dad.. hehe!

62. Had Sex With Two Different People In The Same Day?: *nope!

63. Been Rejected: *maybe... i don't know.. i'm not sure..

64. Hated them after it: *nope.. i dont hold on to grudges...

65. Done Something You Regret? *yes..

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

67. You Touched?: *Ruth, my youngest sis.. she had a fever..

68. You Talked To?: *my mom.. (and she has just scolded me.. hehe!)

69. You Hugged?: *Ruth

70. You Instant Messaged?: *this day? none..

71. You Kissed? *my dad

72. You Yelled At?: *i can't.. la akong boses ngayon eh.. hehe..

73. You Thought About? *does he still care...

74. Who Text Messaged You?: * my mom

75. Who Broke Your Heart?:*i dunno...

76. Who Told You They Loved You?: *my parents.. (i guess)

__

So much for this survey thingy.. Ciao!

First, a WARM & HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Haay.. This Christmas (and Christmas eve) has been sooo tiring! I've been very busy already when I woke up... I haven't even fixed my self when my lola and other relatives from our father's side came (well, it's already 9 am.. I woke up late.. ehehe..) I helped my mom to prepare ou handa for them.. Then yun, everyone in the house was so busy ('cept for our visitors).. Entertaining them, and preparing meal for them... But their visit made our Christmas lively and loud... Our typical pasko kasi doesn't have any family reunions, just dropping by then giving pamasko sa mga bata, some chit-chatting then that's it.. But today, they stayed a litter longer and we've been able to jam with our cousins! (YEAH!) I was so awed by how my cousin, John (who is 14 y.o.), sung NOYPI by Bamboo... I didn't know he has a nice voice! Grabe, dati nagtatatakbo lang siya, sobrang kulit,tapos ngaun nagbibinata na... Time really flies very fast, neh?

Yesterday naman, I was out of the house all day... I went together with my mom, lola Irene, tito Ponching and his son, Benedict, and kuya Egan to the mall. We bought some groceries and panghanda for the noche buena... Grabe! Nakakapagod! There's still a lot of people doing there Christmas shopping (just like us) even it's Christmas eve! Imagine, nakapila ko sa cashier sa grocery for about 45 mins or an hour, good thing may ka-text ako.. hehe..

But my Christmas is still great! Kahit pagod, happy pa rin... Kaso pagod na talaga ko.. Zzzz...

Are you a "personality test" addict?

If you are, then welcome to the club!

Hehe! Just kidding...

But it's true that I am a big fan of this personality test blah blah... And right now, all I'm doing is taking different quizzes and personality test at www.pressanykey.com. Well, don't know why, but it feels good when you see the results and it really matches your personality. And not only that, you can also discover something new about you.

Right now, I'm taking the "Color Personality Test"... Want to see the results? Here... This is based on the order of precedence of your chosen color..


Green - You are persistent, possessive and quite selfish.

Yellow - You are positive, optimistic person who always looks to the future - never backwards.

Violet - Both mentally and physically immature, you are stuck in a dream of wishful thinking and fantasy.

Red - You have high energy and are very passionate.

Blue - You are unsatisfied you feel the need to break from the ties that restrict you.

Gray - Between two contrasting Motivations. How would you describe yours?

Brown - Well Being and Health. How would you describe yours?


There you go... GtG, got so much personality tests waiting for me...^-^

hohum...

Grabe! nakakatamad 'tong araw na to... buong maghapon wala akong ginawa! haay...

5:30 am - I woke up and realized that I haven't finished my part on our reaction due today!
9:30 am - Finished typing but still in front of the PC, surfing the net...
12:25 nn - Ate my breakfast! haha!
1:30 pm - Back to the PC. Internet.
3:10 pm - Take a shower.
5:45 pm - Ate merienda.
6:14 pm - Hi there! Eto nagsusulat sa blog!

See how my day works whenever there's no class?! BORING!!!

Yehey!

There's a reason for the students (that's us!) and the admin of the College of Public Health to celebrate this year! Our lantern was chosen as the 1st prize for UP Manila's annual Lantern Parade... Although I don't have the right to celebrate so much because I didn't helped in making the Japanese Lanterns and War Banners, and I didn't attend in the parade, just let me be proud of the people (the 3rd year students) who worked on our parol. GO PUBLIC HEALTH!

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Napakasama ko... Alam nyo ba kung bakit? Hindi ba lantern parade ngayon and nabanggit ko na hindi ako tumulong at sumama sa parada? Yun ay dahil imbes na nasa UPM ako, nagpunta ko ng UST! Ha!? Ano daw?! Yep, that's right. Kasi naman, hindi ko feel yung mga tao na kasama ko sa parada, so nagpunta na lang akong UST dahil inimbitahan ako ng best friend ko.

Pero akala ko matutuwa ako... Hmp! Yun pala... hindi rin... Siguro dahil hindi na ko nanood ng act ng Rivermaya, pero kahit na, hindi ko in-expect na ganon lang yun... Ok, sabihin na nating maganda yung campus, kaso ewan! Siguro hindi ko lang feelkasi hindi ako taga-doon.. Haay.. La lang...

At eto pa, akala ko makikita ko yung crush ko, sobrang kina-reer ko pa naman yung ayos ko.. kaso wala rin, hindi ko rin siya nakita... haay!!! kainis talaga! kaya yun, umuwi na lang ako...*sigh*

Oblation Run.

It is an annual tradition from the Alpha Phi Omega (APO) fraternity of the University of the Philippines. And in December 15, 2004 at the Office of the University Registrar's of UP Manila, this annual celebration was witnessed by yours truly. The frats theme for this year's Oble Run is "TIniTIpid, Huwag Putulin" which is to say that they are against the continuing proposition for the University Budget Cut.

Actually I was about to tell you how excited I was to watch the run because it's my first time.. I don't want to miss it because it is as if you missed half of your college life as a state university student if even once you weren't able to watch it.

I don't know what to say... Para kasing halu-halo yung emotions... Excited, nervous and at the same time embarrased, kasi ngayon pa lang ako manonood (as in live!), kasi dati hanggang TV lang... hehe.. Yun na nga, tumakbo na sila at grabe talagang sa una parang na-shock ako pero later natawa na kami kasi, hehe, totoo yung mga sinisigaw nila sa TV na "maliit"! haha! ewan! Pero talagang maliit... haay wala lang... Hindi naman nakakabastos... Kaso iniisip ko lang, hindi ba sila nae-exploit sa ginagawa nilang yan? hmm.. ewan! Wala lang... Gusto ko lang i-share...

Anyway, I have nothing much to tell... Just want to share the funny experience, kasi imbes na mandiri ka, matatawa ka, kasi, ewan basta... Hindi naman kasi siya nakakabastos... well, depende na lang siguro sa personalidad at pag-iisip ng isang tao..

**********

Ooops! December 16 na! Start na ng simbang gabi... Sana magising ako ng maaga para makapagsimba ko...^-^

I just changed the background music of my blog. It has zutto first, then I decided to change it to Moon River by Frank Sinatra. Actually I just want this song to remind me of the chinovela Lovers in Paris... Sobrang nakakakilig kasi siya.. I don't know, pero parang syang modern fairytale..

Here.. Take a look at them (Vivian and Carlo).. Aren't they look nice together? Such a cute "couple"...*kilig*




Cute! naka-pink pa si Carlo... Inggit ako..^-^

The picture was from http://tv.sbs.co.kr.

5:45 am - i woke up and immediately ran out of the room to take a shower. Sh*t! I'm late again! Should have slept earlier...

While I was taking the shower, my mind is in a whirlpool. Thoughts of traffic and getting late in school, siksikan sa MRT, waiting in vain for the LRT and me not yet studying... Argggh! This is so terrible.. Ayan ang napapala ng di nag-aaral... haay...

I left the house at 6:25. Yes! There's still a chance that I won't be late for school.

Inside the fx taxi, I started reading my notes, then I felt like dozing off... ZZzzzz... Voila! Nasa EDSA na ko! Shocks! Ano ba yan?! Hindi pa ko nag-aaral!

So I started walking fast towards the MRT station, I made my way through the hundreds and thousands of people in the sidewalk (Why do they have to walk so slowly?) and finally, I made it and got to ride the first train na naabutan ko.

15 mins. travel.... LRT... same routine... 15 minutes... UN Ave. Station

Luckily, I didn't have to wait for the walk signal and I got to get to school On time (YES!)

Oh no... The exam is driving near... 10 secs... 9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1..

Test papers were given and we started answering. When I saw the matching type, Oh no! origin of blah blah structure! My, my...

1 1/2 hrs later...

The exam is finished! Yes! Only 1 exam left. Chem lec exam..

Ano ba yan!? Babagsak ako...

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HUM II (ARTS)

We had a quiz on subject matter and identifying whether the work is realism, distortion or abstraction. This is going to be our last class under Ms. Bien (she's our funky, young and hip prof). Another prof will be handling us next year... Aww.. How sad..

I was so proud of myself. I got a fair score in my quiz (37.5/50), and it felt nice because I felt like I can interpret or see through paintings (or works of art) well.

It was the painting with the ship and waves that made me proud. (at least) everyone saw it as an abstract (not sure..) but I saw it as is, a realism, portraying such kind of situation. well, 'nuff of it.. I'm just so proud!

**********

I ended up not going to my PI 100 class, because I want to go home and do my 5 reaction papers for our Social Science II class (This one is Uber-... , hmp, wag na lang, baka may makabasa pa nito, sabihin pa nya kay sir! haha!)

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I just hope tomorrow would be better...

Oh my gulay (veggies)! This day is soooooo tiring! I just got home from our organization's (JMAUPM) fashion party, Sari-Sari. Well I did enjoy it but I wished they started earlier. (It's supposedly starting at 7 pm but it started at 9).

Before that, I have my Chemistry (ooohh.. My favorite! Xp) classes (lecture and laboratory). I wasn't able to attend the lecture because I woke up late! (Grabe! ang tamad ko!) But it was nice that our experiment in the lab turned out fine. We got the name of the amino acid of our 2 unknowns, although it was still very depressing for me because the results of my exam was Uber-bad!

After that I was planning to study for the big exam today (It's tuesday already!) but the procrastinator in me had overcome my entire being so I just joined my classmate in their bowling class. (But the heck! My score was even worse than my exam! XD)

And now, I'm still in front of the computer, it's 3 in the morning and I haven't studied yet for my exam at 8:30...

Oh my! I just have to ask lots of luck and again, pray to St. Jude...haay...

Yehey!

Sa wakas, natapos ko na rin tong blog na to! 3 blogs to go... HAHA!! haay! ang sarap ng feeling.. kahit sobrang sakit ng puson ko! huhu! kainis! la pa kong nagagawa sa buhay ko.. ang tamad ko talaga!

5:00 am...

*rrrrriiiinnnngggg*

Usually, at 5 am we'd hear our alarm clocks (even in our cellphones) beeping, waking us up and telling us that a new day has come.

But for me, whenever there are no classes (just like now), I don't have to wait for the alarm... Why? Simple. Because I haven't sleep yet! Think I'm damn proud of staying up late?! Nah... This last 4 days I just stayed up late because I'm looking for the perfect template for my blog. And finally, (thank heavens) I found it... Although it's not my original layout, I'd still want to use it. And of course, I'd like to thank the designer of this template, MS. AMY, for doing such a nice design.. (I want to apologize coz I'm not able to give you comment on BLOGSKIN. I haven't validated my addy yet...)

Anyway, yesterday (12.4.04) was not so great. I got so glued onto my chair, infront of the computer, that I wasn't able to left the house earlier than expected. I was supposed to watch a concert of The UP Manila Chorale but due to my extreme laziness, I came late (the show started at 6 pm, I arrived at 7:15 pm) and worst what I have watched were the choir's last set of songs (particularly Christmas songs). But it's still worth the last 45 minutes of their performance...


So people, if I were you, next time I'll come on time, or much better, earlier.

bubbly bern is:
• 21 years old
• a BSPH graduate
• an unemployed citizen of the Philippines
• married

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